17 Comments
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Kris's avatar

Absolutely bang-on. Dutton's always radiated the warmth and relatability of a haunted urinal, so it's genuinely baffling it’s taken this long for the broader public to clock the vibes. Like Morrison, he’s a bullshit artisan – handcrafting paranoia and smug detachment with all the sincerity of a discount televangelist. At least now the mask’s slipping, and we can stop pretending this bloke wasn’t always a weird, authoritarian charisma void with the emotional range of a desk lamp.

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Mick's avatar

Oh this is the best political analysis piece I’ve read for so long. Finally someone says what we’ve all been thinking all along - Orcs!

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Alex Dhar's avatar

From start to finish the most incredible thing I’ve read thank you

“This author could be a drag queen the way he read this man over and over line by line in so many different and refreshing ways” — the highest of compliments from my girlfriend

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Patrick Marlborough's avatar

🙏🙏🙏👑

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Rowena Bianchino's avatar

Brilliant!

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The Cosmic Unconsciousness's avatar

Listening to this on my way home from work was actual bliss.

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Patrick Marlborough's avatar

I forget you can do that!

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Mercurial's avatar

Ahh, Bob Jelly - the real John Howard!

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Isabelle's avatar

This is both the greatest substack, and political commentary, that I have ever read. I want to print it off and frame it for posterity. Thank you Patrick Marlborough, for your contribution to this great nation.

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Patrick Marlborough's avatar

🫡🫡🫡

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Milly Schmidt's avatar

A viciously hilarious summary of a truly cursèd collection of absolute dweebs. No notes.

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Patrick Marlborough's avatar

thank you!

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conor king's avatar

An analysis right up there with all those that focussed so much on Trump’s nastiness they forgot to talk about what he actually did in his first term and would do in the second.

Not that the latter would necessarily have changed the outcome but at least it would have engaged with the reasons why people vote for him.

Put simply if the choice is between someone unlikeable whose views and policies are roughly those you support and someone a bit less awful but whose views and policies you oppose - who will you vote for? Clearly most go with the first.

Plus of course the group who find it fun that Trump antagonises so many people. They like that.

There is a lot of similar terrain in Australia - and people who actually share Dutton’s views on how the world should be.

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M. Dread's avatar

Dutton’s a weird cunt, but is Albo any better? The entire political hegemony in Australia—from the Greens on the left to One Nation on the right—is packed to the rafters with some truly obscure individuals, and furthermore, only in Australia would these individuals be given a platform.

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Patrick Marlborough's avatar

I hate all these nerds and I hope the explode. Dutton is just the sorriest of them.

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JC Denton's avatar

I do think that a lot of Dutton's electoral issues come down to him unfortunately being a very scary looking man. It's the equivalent of being fat and butt-ugly for a female politician. Appearance is a powerful force when the system is a facade and you're only voting to avoid a fine.

Policy wise his biggest drawback by far is that he's so tied into the intelligence community. This is, in my view, the most dangerous faction in political life, and any potential leader can be judged almost solely on if they support the power of this cabal or oppose it.

Then again, Dutton is on policy about 95% the same as the rest of them in the LNP and ALP, the differences are illusory at best, and nothing will change no matter which of them gets in. Maybe the material the boot is made out of which is standing on your face: LNP supports traditional genuine leather boots, ALP virtue signals in support of sea-kelp fibre boots. Greens get their grubby unwashed feet all over your face. Pick your boot, Australia.

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Melbourne Theatre Nerd's avatar

I wish I was so confident. Dutton's move to "we don't have policies, just hate theirs" will probably work well. Mixed with the whole "let's give the other side a go" that happens so often in this country.. .

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